Azad Jasmi | March 26, 2025
I write this article because, throughout my numerous discussions, town halls, and coaching sessions with startups and organizations, I have observed that this issue repeatedly arises.
Why do misunderstandings frequently occur between bosses and employees?
Why is an instruction given with one intention but understood differently?
This is not merely a matter of attitude; rather, it stems from communication breakdowns and differing expectations.
“How Can They Not Understand? They’ve Been Working Here for Years!”
As a boss, you might have thought:
“They’ve worked with me for years—how can they not understand how I operate?”
Meanwhile, employees often think:
“I’ve worked with my boss for so long—surely they know how I do my work?”
This is what we call the “Understanding Gap”—a disconnect that happens when we assume others understand our ways without explicitly clarifying our expectations.
Examples of Expectation Gaps in Organizations
1. The Ambiguity of “Urgent” in Business
Boss: “I need this proposal urgently!”
Employee: “Alright, urgent… maybe by next week?”
Boss (internally): “I meant within three days, not a whole week!”
Why does this become a problem?
The term “urgent” is subjective. What seems urgent to a boss and an employee can differ significantly.
The boss expects the task within three days, but the employee assumes a one-week deadline is reasonable.
Solution:
Specify clearly: “I need this proposal submitted by 5 PM on January 21, 2025.”
By setting a precise date and time, there is no room for misinterpretation.
2. Understanding Gaps in Marketing & Promotion
Boss: “Launch an impactful marketing campaign for our new product.”
Marketing Team: “Understood, boss!”
(The team creates an eye-catching poster and posts it on social media.)
Boss: “Wait, where’s the press release? Where are the influencers? Is this what you call a high-impact campaign?”
Why does this become a problem?
The term “high-impact marketing” is vague.
The marketing team assumes a visually appealing poster is sufficient, while the boss envisions a comprehensive campaign involving media coverage, influencers, and events.
Solution:
The boss should specify: “I want a social media campaign + a press release + collaboration with three influencers, all to be completed within two weeks.”
3. Understanding Gaps in Business Development
Boss: “Find new clients for our company.”
Business Development Team: “Sure! We’ve connected with 10 potential leads.”
Boss: “Where’s the proposal? Where’s the follow-up meeting? I need confirmed clients ready to sign!”
Why does this become a problem?
“Finding new clients” can mean different things—identifying leads or securing confirmed deals.
The employee believes they’ve done their job by finding potential clients, while the boss expects concrete results.
Solution:
The boss should specify: “I want three clients who are ready to negotiate and sign contracts within one month.”
Understanding Gaps in Personal Life
1. In Marriage
Husband: “I want the house to be tidy.”
Wife: “Okay, I’ve cleaned up.”
Husband (coming home): “Why is the table still cluttered?”
Wife: “I mopped the floor and took out the trash—isn’t that tidy?”
Why does this become a problem?
The husband’s definition of “tidy” might mean a well-organized space with no clutter, while the wife considers clean floors and empty trash bins sufficient.
Solution:
The husband should be specific: “I want the dining table cleared, the floor cleaned, and the sofa arranged neatly.”
2. In Friendships
Friend A: “Bro, let’s plan a trip to Langkawi this Sunday.”
Friend B: “Sounds great! Let’s do it!”
(On the day of the trip, Friend A waits at the jetty, but Friend B doesn’t show up.)
Friend A: “Where are you?”
Friend B: “I thought we were just discussing it, not actually going!”
Why does this become a problem?
“Planning a trip” can be interpreted as just a suggestion or a confirmed plan with arrangements made.
Solution:
Clarify intentions: “Are we confirming this trip? If so, let’s book our flights by Friday.”
How to Minimize the “Understanding Gap”
1. Don’t Assume—Communicate Clearly
Avoid the mindset of “They should already understand” just because someone has worked with you, been married to you, or been friends with you for years.
Think of it like a car:
Even if you’ve had the same car for 30 years, if you don’t start the engine and press the gas, it won’t move.
You wouldn’t say: “I’ve owned this car for 30 years—why doesn’t it understand that I want to drive?”
2. Provide Clear and Objective Instructions
Avoid using vague terms like “quickly,” “urgent,” or “soon” without specifying an actual deadline.
✅ Correct example: “I need this report completed by 5 PM on January 21, 2025.”
❌ Incorrect example: “I need this quickly!”
3. Confirm Understanding (Check for Clarity)
After giving an instruction, ask the recipient to repeat it back to ensure alignment.
✅ Example dialogue:
Boss: “Can you repeat back the deadline for this report?”
Employee: “I need to submit it by 5 PM on January 21, 2025.”
If there’s a misunderstanding, it can be corrected immediately.
4. Use the Right Communication Medium
Verbal instructions alone aren’t always reliable—people can forget or misinterpret details.
✅ Best practice: “I’ve sent an email with all the details. Let me know if anything is unclear.”
Stop Assuming in Communication
Miscommunication is not a minor issue—it can derail projects, strain professional relationships, and cause unnecessary conflicts in personal life.
The Root Cause?
We often assume others understand what we mean without making the effort to communicate clearly.
As a boss, don’t assume employees know exactly what you expect.
As an employee, don’t assume your boss understands how you work.
In relationships, don’t assume your partner or friends can read your mind.
5 Common Examples of Unclear Instructions That Cause Confusion
“Prepare an urgent proposal.”
Unclear: What does “urgent” mean? Today? Tomorrow? Next week?
✅ Clear: “Submit the proposal by 5 PM tomorrow, including marketing strategy, budget estimates, and a project timeline.”
“Complete the monthly sales report.”
Unclear: What format? Excel? PowerPoint? What details?
✅ Clear: “Prepare the January sales report in Excel, including product breakdown and sales trends. Submit by Monday at noon.”
“Let’s discuss this in the meeting.”
Unclear: When is the meeting? Who should attend? What’s the agenda?
✅ Clear: “We’ll discuss marketing strategies on Wednesday at 10 AM in the main conference room. Bring campaign reports and strategy proposals.”
Clarity Over Assumptions
As Stephen R. Covey famously said in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People:
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
Before blaming others for “not understanding,” ask yourself:
Have I communicated clearly enough?
At the end of the day, clear communication leads to better relationships, smoother workflows, and stronger connections—whether at work, at home, or in life.
