Leadership is a balancing act. It requires vision, decisiveness, and, most importantly, the ability to inspire and influence others. However, as my colleagues recently lamented, our institution seems to be falling back into mediocrity, a shadow of its former self, due to what they perceive as weak leadership.
They reminisced about a former leader who drove transformative change and expressed a desire for a new leader who could do the same – but this time, one with a kind and light-hearted demeanour. Ironically, some of them, who are part of the current management team, have benefitted from this so-called kind leader, but now label him as weak and blame him for the institution’s downfall since he is no longer in the leadership position. To me, this reeks of hypocrisy.
After a long pause, I told them they would be fortunate to find such a leader, as being both kind and transformative is a rare combination. Having been in a leadership position myself, I understand that transformative leadership often demands tough decisions that can clash with the perception of kindness.
The Weight of Transformational Leadership
Transforming an institution, particularly one entrenched in outdated practices and resistant to change, is no small feat. It requires bold actions, which often include restructuring teams, reallocating resources, and redefining priorities. These decisions can be unpopular, even when they are necessary for the greater good.
During my tenure as a leader, I learned that achieving lasting transformation meant addressing uncomfortable truths and challenging the status quo – actions that rarely come across as kind, even when done with the best intentions.
Transformational leaders must navigate a minefield of resistance, from institutional inertia to personal grievances. Change disrupts comfort zones, and even those who stand to benefit may initially resist it. As a result, transformative leaders often find themselves in the unenviable position of making decisions that may alienate some in the short term to benefit the majority in the long run.
The Appeal of Kind Leadership
On the other hand, kindness in leadership is a quality universally admired. A kind leader is approachable, empathetic, and capable of fostering a sense of belonging and trust among their team. Kindness creates a supportive environment where individuals feel valued and empowered, leading to higher morale and collaboration.
However, when it comes to transformative leadership, kindness can sometimes be misconstrued as weakness. A leader who prioritises kindness above all else may avoid making difficult decisions, fearing they will hurt relationships or disrupt harmony. This reluctance to act decisively can lead to stagnation, allowing problems to fester and opportunities for growth to slip away.
The Blame Game: Leaders as Easy Targets
One observation I shared with my colleagues is how easy it is for people to shift the blame to their leaders, labelling them as strict, tough, grumpy, or even unkind. Often, this serves as a way to hide their own shortcomings in meeting new standards or adapting to elevated expectations.
I have worked under very strict leaders myself. Instead of joining the chorus of complaints, I chose to focus on improving my performance, meeting the new expectations, and rising to the challenge. Over time, I realised that the push I received was not out of malice but out of a desire to unleash my potential.
That experience shaped me into a better version of myself and taught me that no leader scolds or pushes their team unnecessarily. They do so because they believe in their team’s capacity for growth, even when the team members themselves do not.
This tendency to criticise leaders for being tough often overlooks the fact that transformation requires higher standards and accountability. Instead of perceiving strictness as a personal attack, individuals should see it as an opportunity to grow. The discomfort of being pushed out of one’s comfort zone is often the precursor to personal and professional development.
The Conflict Between Kindness and Transformation
The challenge lies in the inherent tension between these two qualities. Kindness seeks to preserve harmony, while transformation often necessitates disruption. As a leader, I have grappled with this conflict firsthand. I recall moments when some of my decisions – though necessary – caused discomfort and even resentment. At those times, I questioned whether I was being unkind or simply doing what needed to be done.
The truth is, transformational leadership is rarely kind in the conventional sense. It requires a level of detachment and resolve that can appear cold or unfeeling to those affected. Yet, true kindness in leadership isn’t about avoiding conflict or discomfort. It is about being honest, transparent, and acting with integrity, even when the decisions are tough.
Finding the Balance
So, can a leader be both kind and transformative? The answer lies in understanding that kindness and transformation are not mutually exclusive but complementary when approached thoughtfully.
A transformative leader can be kind by communicating openly and empathetically, ensuring that those affected by change understand the reasons behind it. They can involve stakeholders in the decision-making process, giving them a sense of ownership and agency. At the same time, a kind leader can be transformative by recognising that sometimes, the most compassionate thing to do is to make difficult decisions for the greater good.
Leadership as a Collective Responsibility
Ultimately, the quest for a leader who embodies both kindness and transformation shouldn’t fall solely on the individual in charge. Institutions must foster a culture that supports and rewards these qualities in their leaders. This includes providing leadership development opportunities, creating mechanisms for open dialogue, and cultivating a shared sense of purpose among all members of the organisation.
Conclusion: Kindness as Strength, Not Weakness
To my colleagues, I shared this reflection: finding a leader who is both kind and transformative is indeed a blessing, but it is not a guarantee of success. What matters more is creating an environment where leaders feel empowered to balance these qualities without fear of criticism or failure.
Leadership is not about being liked; it is about doing what is right. And sometimes, the kindest thing a leader can do is to take the tough road, knowing it leads to a better future for all. In the end, kindness and transformation are not opposites – they are two sides of the same coin, each enriching the other when wielded with wisdom and integrity. Moreover, as team members, we must reflect on our own roles in the process, striving to rise to the occasion rather than blaming those who push us to be better.
Note: Dr Azizi is a professor in accounting information systems at the Malaysian Graduate School of Entrepreneurship and Business (MGSEB), Universiti Malaysia Kelantan. He can be contacted at [email protected]
