Revisiting Cheating: When It Is Used As An Exit Strategy

Among all sins committed in a relationship, cheating is considered one of the gravest ones. You know it. You have seen it in movies, read it in the news, and you probably have been through it.

I once spoke to a friend who clarified that she doesn’t see cheating as something so wrong. My brain stopped functioning upon hearing it. I asked her to elaborate further. “It is not wrong if you have been miserable or hurt for an extended period”, she said. I tried to see the matter from her point of view.

Maybe she’s right?

We have been brought up in a society that values fidelity. But behind closed doors, no one really knows what happens, isn’t it? Some relationships can be toxic. Some can be dysfunctional. But for some unfortunate others, it can be downright abusive (mentally or physically). So in order to understand this matter, I turned to my best friend, Mr Google and found that it exists. Some were not even sorry for doing what they did.

Let’s have a look…

Images | Buzzfeed

Truth is, when we discuss the issue of infidelity most of the time we almost always hear stories from the victims. Very rarely people would confess to cheating because it’s embarrassing.

Studies have shown that cheating is caused by a lack of confidence and the need for validation. However, from the examples above, it’s not the case. It’s more complex than that. These people need help. They don’t see a way out of the unhappiness and abuse. These people were once the loyal ones. But their boundaries were crossed. Their limits were challenged and their kindness was abused. This is the kind of thing that they experience. I am not saying that cheating isn’t wrong but, like everything else in life, this is another grey area.

This entry is written upon request by someone that’s very close to me. When I asked her why didn’t she just break it off nicely? She answered, “I did. I gave the ultimatum but my ex thought that I was joking. I was cheated too but I kept the relationship going. What’s more, I went through seven years of emotional abuse. If it isn’t for cheating, I’d still leave her”.