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When People Treat You Badly, There Is Something Wrong With Them, Not You!

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ByThila Suppiah
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When people treat you badly – there is something wrong with them and not you!

I like to share real-life cases and how you as an employee can thrive and persevere through the situation. The case was a new Country Manager who came to Malaysia from overseas and couldn’t work well with the Country HR Head due to his own unconscious biases.

People have their own preferences when it comes to their circle of friends, partners, and family but when it comes to working especially in another country, they must try to understand the cultural differences, social settings, and environment before expecting everything to be like where they are from.

When a leader never wants to understand the local practices or the diversity in culture and the different races we have in Malaysia – it becomes really tough to work with someone who has no respect for diversity. Respect is always a two-way street and most of the time – the employees never get it and if they were to speak up, they will be reprimanded.

Things to expect

Some fights are worth fighting, and some are not. Hence assess the opponent, and your environment and asks yourself if is this a fight you will win or you will lose—also if this is a fight worth fighting. Some leaders are still not professional enough and can be very personal therefore, they will be focused on penalizing through these:

  1. Performance appraisal. They use this opportunity to tell you are not up to expectations even though they had all the time to look into having a discussion to get some alignment, or do a mid-term review assessment but it always comes down to using the performance appraisal to exhibit their power. No point arguing or fighting because you will be blamed for being ‘difficult’. I personally was not happy with the appraisal system in that organization after seeing how leaders use it for their own personal agenda.
  2. Unnecessary additional tasks might be assigned to you which might not even be part of your role – which requires more effort from you.
  3. Your increment and bonus will be played around with to show their power.
  4. Some difficult challenges which you might not be able to endure … you need to collaborate with others to get some projects done, focus on getting the team together to get the job done

Things to do

Throwing in the towel or resigning is not always the answer as we have commitments, family, and bills to pay. How can we have a ‘thick skin’, take on all insults and criticism—basically become immune to any bullying?

3 valuable insights for you today.

  1. Focus on the issue and not the person – find out what is the issue before reacting.
  2. Don’t take it personally anymore (I will say be immune to it) – as hard as it might be, this is the best solution to never take it personally as this is what the opponent wants you to.. take it personally
  3. Learn to be confident with your knowledge and skills. You are hired to get the job done, do it. Have the courage to complete the task as you are being paid for it.

My advice to you is this

Never let these noises pull you down, no matter how emotionally draining it can be. Always show up. You will win 80% of the battle when you simply show up. Showing up takes a lot of courage.

You will keep thriving and be laser-focused on your deliverables.

  • Learn to be immune – this virtue will take you places, it’s the first step towards climbing the corporate ladder.
  • Always check your emotions and keep them neutral, anytime you feel you are getting emotional – drop what you are doing, get some air, and coffee… never, I repeat never share your feelings with your colleague on this matter. People are watching you react … do not give them the opportunity to blame you for your lack of efficiency.
  • Find out the right channel where you can report this behaviour and report. In my case, I didn’t have a place to report hence I endured 2 years with the leader before he ask to leave.

Take care of your well-being, your life matters. Is it really necessary to put up with certain situations? If you can, yes persevere through. If not – have your exit plan ready and never turn back.

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