I was still groggy. I just woke up to the alarm that sang —
“Bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp
I feel free
Bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp, bomp
I feel free”
and I saw a message on my phone, from my son Adam, “Man down” accompanied by a photo of his motorbike that looked like it had just met with an accident. He continued, “I can still move and walk”, and told me his location.
I don’t know about you guys, but my sons are very close to me. I jumped from my recliner, grab my bike key, and texted him “On my way”. My heart raced like Maverick’s as he was meandering along the river and pushing “10g”.
I turned on my strobe lights so that the rush hour traffic could see me meandering between them (not as fast as Maverick though – my bike could only do 170 km/h). Adam was only 7km away, but he was on a busy highway. And my heart was pounding, worried!
Raziq, his best buddy since primary school, was there when I got there. Adam was walking around his bike with Raziq, inspecting the damage on his bike. It turned out to be quite minor.
There were some scratches and a slightly bent brake lever, a scratched and dented exhaust can, and scratched wrap film on the bike’s fairing. Adam himself only had minor scratches on the back of his right hand. The bike could still start n its gear engageable.
I had a once-over walk around and decided that the bike was good to run. Just need a mechanic to do a quick inspection tomorrow. We got on our bikes and Adam led the way to Raziq’s place with Raziq escorting him from behind to make sure all was ok. After a few km, we exited the highway. They went to Raziq’s place and I went home.
Best Buddies
When I got to the location, and I saw that Raziq was already there, it warmed my heart. Raziq had been Adam’s friend, a very close one since they were in primary school. At one time Raziq’s family stayed a few streets away from our place. For about a year.
We moved while Adam stayed with his mother just another street away. Raziq’s family moved but Raziq stayed in the same school with Adam throughout their primary years. They parted ways as they entered their secondary school years. However, these two stayed in touch together with another two or three boys. They remained tight. Today they are reaching their mid-20s and that closeness remained, supporting each other.
This closeness is something that I envy. They are really close and support each other when anyone was down.
Buddies — Mine
I had this level of closeness in my teen years too. It continued a while longer when we parted ways into universities or colleges of our choice. A little more as we started to work, get married, and have a family. Even when we were still around for our firstborns’ birthdays.
But it seemed to have waned as we got busier with work and family. Maybe we still saw each other during Hari Raya open houses, once a year, and it became less and less.
I drifted away further after my divorce. It could be because our friends felt awkward having both myself and the ex around. We were from the same school, thus we shared the same friends. Or, I was the one who drifted…
It also happened at the worst time. My first business went under. I had practically no support from the group of friends whom I grew up with. People whom I thought would be my shoulder to cry on or someone I could lean on for a while started to slowly disappear.
Instead, I had support, from people who were just moving from being “acquaintances” to “friends”. People that I just started to know or get to know, from work or business. Not many, but enough to hear my crap out. From college, I had one or two. The rest largely had disappeared.
The term “fairweather friends” popped up in my mind.
The business world could be lonely.
Lean On
When business was struggling, if someone could prop me up with some funds, to at least be able to pay salaries and rentals, that would be nice. But you know what happened to friends when you made such a request…
This taught me an important lesson – don’t really count on people you think you really know. Help and do good things for them still. Just don’t hope…
I Got You, Bro
Against all odds, there were two of these new acquaintances who helped us. We were able to make some overhead payments and buy goods to be supplied to our customers. Angels came from unexpected places, in unexpected forms.
How did those “angels” appear then?
I realized that as our network of acquaintances and friends grew because of work and business if we have the intent to help people in any way that we can, help to us would come in ways that we did not think or imagine.
Bob Burg & John David Mann in their book “The Go-Giver”, wrote about this “three feet rule”. That is when someone is within three feet distance from you, you would want to say “hi” to that person, find out about him/her, and ask if there is any way you can probably help. I would add, make that person smile and see how you can make his/her day better!
Connect
In my experience, my connections have increased exponentially and I would be able to connect someone to someone who might be able to help, in less than six degrees of separation.
There is this famous six degrees of separation that said that you are only six persons away, from the person that you need to meet (meet for whatever reason). Often, I just do it in three.
Gus, “The Connector” in The Go-Giver inspired me.
He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother (Sister)
Imagine now, the kind of friendship that Adam and Raziq have maintained all their lives, enhanced with other, friends, friends of friends, friends to the nth degree… It is already happening to most people. With you, unless you are a hermit. Now, be conscious of it.
Of wanting to help, of wanting to be useful.
Knowing that it will be repaid when you least expect it.
The world definitely will be a better place.
