Parents dedicate their lives to raising their children, often sacrificing their own comfort, dreams, and finances to provide the best possible future. However, a distressing trend has emerged where some children mistreat their aging parents—emotionally, financially, and physically. This discussion aims to highlight various forms of parental neglect and abuse and emphasize why children should uphold their responsibility towards their parents.
Forms of Parental Neglect and Abuse
1. Refusing to Provide Shelter. As parents grow older, they may require a stable home environment. Unfortunately, some children refuse to accommodate their parents, leaving them to fend for themselves. Reports from various countries indicate that an increasing number of elderly individuals are abandoned or left homeless. According to HelpAge International, elderly homelessness is on the rise, particularly in urban areas where living costs are high, and familial bonds are weakening.
2. Neglecting Financial Support and Well-being. While not all parents expect financial help from their children, some may need assistance due to retirement, medical needs, or loss of income. A lack of concern for their well-being, failing to check on their health, and ignoring their emotional needs can contribute to severe loneliness and depression in aging parents. Studies show that social isolation significantly impacts elderly mental health, leading to anxiety, cognitive decline, and even early mortality.
3. Using Parents for Babysitting Without Consideration. Many grandparents love spending time with their grandchildren, but there is a difference between voluntary caregiving and being treated as unpaid babysitters. Some children leave their kids with their elderly parents without considering their physical limitations, exhaustion, or personal time, which can take a toll on their health. Making them the scapegoat while you focus on your future well being. Cost of babysitting is not getting any cheaper today either.
4. Exploiting Parents Financially. It is not uncommon for elderly parents to be manipulated into handing over their savings, property, or pensions. Whether through coercion, emotional blackmail, or deceit, such financial abuse can leave them impoverished and dependent. Parents are left obligated, as we are aware they will stand thru their children’s despite it all due to “love”.
5. Being Transactional in Helping Parents. Some children approach their parents with a calculative mindset, helping them only when there is personal gain involved. This conditional support creates emotional distress for parents, who feel like burdens rather than loved family members. Running errands, attending to medical needs, or simply spending time with them should not come with an expectation of reward. Find time to celebrate them be alive is as important as any other celebrations in the world.
6. Expecting Parents to Be Fully Independent. A common misconception is that once children are financially independent, their parents no longer need support. However, aging brings challenges such as deteriorating health, mobility issues, and emotional struggles. Expecting them to manage everything alone disregards the natural cycle of care—just as parents cared for their children in their youth, children should return the support in their parents’ old age.
Real-Life Consequences: Parents Abandoned on the Streets
The consequences of neglecting elderly parents are heartbreaking. Reports from countries like India, China, and the United States highlight cases of elderly individuals left homeless because their families refuse to care for them. Shelters and old-age homes struggle to accommodate the rising number of abandoned elderly people, many of whom suffer from illnesses and disabilities.
A study by the World Health Organization (WHO) found that elder abuse is a global issue, with nearly one in six people over 60 experiencing some form of abuse, whether physical, emotional, or financial. Governments in various countries have introduced laws to penalize children who abandon their parents, but enforcement remains a challenge due to societal stigma and family dynamics.
Conclusion: Upholding Our Duty to Our Parents
Children must remember the sacrifices their parents made for them. Providing shelter, financial support when needed, and emotional care is not just a duty but a moral responsibility. Even when married and having their own families to fend for, children must strive to balance responsibilities and ensure their parents do not feel abandoned. A society that respects and nurtures its elderly is one that thrives on compassion and gratitude. It is time to recognize that parents deserve dignity, care, and love—not neglect and exploitation. If we do not honor our parents today, what example are we setting for future generations?
Dr. P. Yukthamarani Permarupan, Senior Lecturer, MGSEB,UMK. I can be reached via email at [email protected]
