Be The Change You Wish To See

Many of us aspire to make the world a better place, often investing time, energy, and hard work in improving things around us. Yet, despite our efforts, the results can sometimes feel limited or discouraging. The idea of bringing change – whether to ourselves, institutions, or systems around us -puzzles many, myself included, and often leads to frustration and stress.
 
This sparks a big question: where should we begin to bring the needed change? What is the secret to lasting transformation?
 
I came across an interesting book, The Courage To Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga, which discusses Alfred Adler’s philosophy. As a fan of Rumi, the famous Persian poet, I also read his poems, and as a Muslim, I read the Quran and hadith, reflecting on their meanings and how to apply them in daily life.
 
Finally, I realised: real change starts from within.
 
Adler’s “Separation of Tasks”
 
Psychologist Alfred Adler offers many valuable lessons. One that truly caught my attention is the concept of the “separation of tasks.” Adler believed that everyone has their own set of tasks or responsibilities that they can control – mainly their own actions and choices.
 
Outside of that, things are often beyond our control, like how others act or respond. Adler emphasised the importance of recognising this boundary. If we try to control things outside of our power, it only brings frustration and stress.
 
Change Yourself First
 
Adler’s idea aligns with Rumi’s famous saying: “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” Rumi reminds us that true wisdom is not about controlling others or the world but about starting with self-improvement. When we focus on changing from within, we are likely to have a more significant and positive effect on the world around us.
 
Over 1,400 years ago, the Quran also emphasised this point. In Surah Ar-Ra’d (13:11), it says, “Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.”
 
This verse tells us that for real change to happen in our lives or communities, we need to work on ourselves first – our intentions, actions, and attitudes. Like Adler’s “separation of tasks,” it reminds us to focus on what we can control: ourselves.
 
Another verse in the Quran, from Surah Ash-Shams (91:7-10), says: “And the soul and Him Who made it perfect; Then He inspired it to understand what is right and wrong for it; He will indeed be successful who purifies it; And He will indeed fail who corrupts it.”
 
This verse highlights that success comes from purifying our own souls, focusing on being a better person from the inside. Both Rumi’s advice and Adler’s ideas connect with this verse, showing that if we want to change the world, we should start by changing ourselves.
 
Applying Self-Responsibility in Daily Life
 
In daily life, this principle is invaluable, especially when we face challenges. Imagine you’re a leader managing a difficult team project. Even when we do our best, misunderstandings or resistance may still arise. Adler’s “separation of tasks” reminds us to focus on how we lead and communicate, rather than trying to change how others feel or react. The important lesson is: do what you can, and leave what you can’t after trying your very best.
 
Understanding Responsibility and the Strength of Self-Control
 
The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) also taught us about personal responsibility, saying, “Every one of you is a shepherd, and every one of you will be questioned about his flock…” (Sahih al-Bukhari, Sahih Muslim). This hadith reminds us to focus on our own responsibilities – our “flock.” Instead of controlling others, we should aim to fulfill our duties with kindness and patience.
 
In another hadith, the Prophet (PBUH) said, “The strong person is not the one who overcomes others by force, but the one who controls himself while in anger.” (Sahih al-Bukhari). True strength here is defined as self-control. It’s not about overpowering others but about managing our own emotions and actions, even in difficult moments.
 
A Final Reflection
 
These understandings help us reflect on where we spend our energy. Often, by focusing on changing ourselves – our thoughts, attitudes, and responses – we begin to see positive changes around us. Instead of trying to control others, we can inspire them by setting an example.
 
Conclusion: Transforming the World Begins Within
 
In a world full of challenges, these lessons remind us of an important truth: the path to changing the world around us begins with changing ourselves. By working on our own attitudes, responses, and intentions, we create a ripple effect that can inspire lasting change in others and, ultimately, in the world.